Something that really helped me through my second recovery was letting other people’s junk go. I would be so quick to take their negative response to what ever I was doing on to myself.
I wanted to let you know that if you stand up for yourself and then the other person responds negatively, it’s not yours to own.
My therapist described it in such an easy to understand way. She said everyone has a suitcase. People put their emotions and their problems in their suitcase. What you should do is own your suitcase. You should work through the emotions and problems and get to the bottom of it. Sometimes people don’t want to work through their emotions and their problems so they drop there suitcase at other people’s feet. I was the sort of person that would pick up everyone’s suitcase that they would drop at my feet. The problem is, if your carrying everyone’s suitcase how are you supposed to deal with your own suitcase full of stuff.
It’s really hard but I feel like something that could be key to recovery is to stop picking up other people suitcase.
Sometimes we pick up other people’s suitcases to make that person feel better. Picking up other people’s suitcases only makes things worse for them. You are taking away their problem.
I feel like we need to learn to not own other people’s stuff.
Sometimes I feel parents do this way to much. I know for me my parents would own all my stuff. I didn’t have to have consequences for my actions or my behavior. I could just do what I wanted. I feel like if my parents made me go through my emotions and problems and owned all my stuff life would have been a lot different.
You have plenty you have to go through yourself, why make it any harder?