Here it is! The blog post that expands on my Facebook status:
“When everything feels like its falling apart maybe its time to let it. What if this crashes, whats the worst that can happen? Maybe getting to a safe distance from everything thats falling is going to be better for your health. Only God can truly keep things from falling apart.
Stay tuned for a blog post expanding on this thought this weekend!”
Wow what an amazing/powerful/interesting weekend. God really showed me the second half to this thought. Sometimes our definition of falling apart is not Gods. Sometimes what we think is falling apart is God doing something different. I know it can be very hard, but somehow, someway we have to trust God. We have to believe that through it all something good will happen. I know this is a hard thing in recovery. How is God good if I went through cutting and anorexia and all this pain?
First, God was just as heartbroken as you. But let me ask another question; where were your parents? They did everything they could but in the end choices were made and things happened. Sometimes our parents failed us miserably but I know for me, my parents tried hard. God won’t micromanage us. He guides us with wisdom. Sometimes when we are in a lot of pain we don’t see any other way out. You being able to start a recovery is in part to Gods great love and mercy. The fact that you had enough strength for today is in part to Gods great love and mercy. It’s a hard thing to wrestle with and for me I have found that going to the source is the best for questions like this.
I know that even though things are hard in my life right now, God is doing a mighty work. I know that by removing myself from the burning building I am going to be in better shape. I am not a firefighter; me trying to save everyone in the burning building will end up with everyone dead. Sometimes you need to step aside and let a professional take over. In this case I say the professional is God. I know it can be so hard and you can feel so useless pulling your hands back and not helping. In the long run you are doing yourself and everyone else involved a favor.
I hope you had an amazing weekend!