Hey Snow by CALM readers!!!!
Sorry for my absence!!! I had a very wild and crazy October where God took over my life and fixed some things that were not very effective.
I was sick with a viral infection for 20 days and then I took a trip back to MN to take care of a few things and then I had my dad in town for a few days.
My trip to MN allowed me to emotionally move to CO. I love being home now more than ever, and my husband and I are restarting our CO life.
Today is a big day for me; I am celebrating 4 years since suicidal ideation ended in my life.
I also changed my major and am now back in Communication Studies with a minor in Human Services. I will be completing my Master’s with a joint degree in Public Administration and Public Health with a concentration in Maternal and Child Health. Basically I will be able to turn Snow into a non-profit. I will also be able to restructure how mental illness is handled. There are a lot of other projects, but you will just have to wait and see 🙂
Why should you care about my life updates? How does any of the previous help you with your life? What does any of this have to do with Snow?
Through the past month God has shown me a new way to live and a new way to see things. Instead of missing your old life so much that you’re mentally living it every single day, you can look for healthy aspects and cherish and be thankful for them.
I was so mentally and emotionally stuck in MN that I wasn’t able to fully embrace CO.
I think this can happen when we try to start a new life in recovery. Life with addictions seemed so much easier and fun. If you can look for the healthy pieces and bring them to your new life, you will be way more happy and successful. Living two lives is not only hard and stressful, its exhausting.
Some good things to take to your new life could include the times you rested and took care of yourself. Instead of your addictions being how you take care of yourself, now it can be things like walks and coffee dates.
Instead of being so caught up in “your plan” that you have had for years that isn’t working, maybe its time to change your plan and find something else. Maybe you have tried a specific way to stop your addictions but it’s not working. Maybe its time for a new method and approach of how you are doing things. Maybe its time to throw a curve ball in your life, or allow one, that could be the thing that saves you.
Instead of being so sad and negative about your life or circumstances, look for things that you can celebrate. I know some people struggle with my dates that I celebrate every month or every year. However, for me it’s what keeps me going. Having celebrations of life events causes me to stop and ponder how good my life is now and how much it has changed. It also gives me an opportunity to see things I want to change and improve that I wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t slowed down.
The hospital that I stayed in when I overdosed on ibuprofen is called RiverSide. Ironically there is a library by my house that is called RiverSide. For my dates and anniversaries I like to go to Riverside library and think about how far I have come and how good my life is.
I think if you took time and celebrated the victories in your life, you’d start to be proud of yourself and be motivated to keep going.
Sometimes, all we need to feel better is just to go home. To find that sweet spot where the worries of the world don’t have an affect or weight on you. Where you don’t have to be a certain person or be a certain way. Where you can truly get recharged and just relax.
Home; How Obstacles Move Easily.
I challenge you to find your HOME; find your spot where things start to click in place and you’re able to hear the wisdom around you, like if someone suggests a new plan for something in your life. Instead of rejecting their idea of how to make your life more enjoyable to live, when your rested and in a good place you will be able to actually consider what they are saying and might even listen to them. What has happened to me is that someone will suggest something that sparks another idea. If I was tired or crabby that would not be possible.
My ramble in the beginning is to show you that its possible to have a life. Your life isn’t over because you had an addiction; your life isn’t over because you made some bad choices. Your life is just beginning because you’re now making the choices that are healthy.
I know it seems overwhelming now, but just know that you can and will have the life you have always dreamed of. Things that you keep locked away will be able to happen!
I am 22 years old. For 18 years of my life I didn’t care if I was dead or alive. For 8 years of my life I battled Anorexia Nervosa. For 6 years of my life I battled with Cutting. For 6-8 years of my life I had a suicide plan ready to go. For 18 years of my life I battled with anxiety.
I have only been truly living for 4 years. BUT I have kicked butt and truly made something with it. Don’t let your past define you; acknowledge it and move on so you can embrace the future. It is never to late to begin your life again!!!!